|Watching erotic movies or browsing through obscene publications :
what harm can that do?
Indeed, day after day, insidiously, men and women see each other as objects to be used for their personal pleasure. Our view becomes biased. Instead of discovering our fiance(e) or spouse in the fullness of their personality including their corporal, spiritual, emotional, intellectual and sensitive dimensions, we become set on a single pursuit, namely sensual indulgence.
In relationships with friends or in professional life the prevailing attitude becomes centered on sex as the memory is saturated with erotic images. Our relationship with others becomes blurred.
Pornography destroys love in a marriage. Indeed, true love is expressed by the gift of self, in listening to one another, considering one another's feelings, in tenderness and attentiveness to each other. But here, our heart experiences blindness, stifled as it were by depression and disgust, the result of eroticism.
But the Creator, we realize, inscribed in the depths of our being a longing for purity. Such a longing is always present in us even when much has been done to damage it. It is always possible to regain purity whatever our situation or our past.
This comes first of all in receiving God's forgiveness. In everyday life this continues through an inner attention: this requires an inner resolve to ward off simply but firmly all that might soil our heart (Controling one's imagination, avoiding obscene publications and posters, looking the other way... )
We can be sure that, little by little our good will will gain the upper hand, and we will rediscover peace and joy of heart.
Claire and I lived the first years of our married life like a young worldly couple with outings, friends, theatre, plays, videos and movies. We wanted to explore and experience everything. It was with such inclinations that we frequented erotic films.
We would come back full of laughter from such outings but not without a tinge of uneasiness and even disgust. We didn't want to fall prey to guilt. But then in our sexual intimacy Claire was no longer the real Claire and vice versa. Mental perceptions get wedged in most insiduously driving us apart from each other.
A major family crisis made us question ourselves and our lifestyle more seriously. We came to realize that the erotic images, as they pervaded our memory, were gradually stifling our love. We decided not to go to such films anymore and, in general, not to go "grabbing" for everything under the pretence that it was the current fashion. We could now enjoy a life more in harmony with our deepest aspirations.